Honesty Feels Like a Shower

So yesterday we both came home from work. I was later than you because I had proposals to send out, and so when I got in at 7.20 - you were already home...like you were yesterday.

And you made me a cup of tea which was lovely and you helped me with the chicken. We didn't put the TV on at all and that was nice because we actually spoke to each other.

I told you I learned that Stefan was leaving today and that made me sad because Stefan is a really nice kid, and he has been kind and helpful to me since I started work and I am sad that he is going to go because of that reason.

You started telling me about your work - and it was like you were scared, or uncomfortable or something when you said the females names. Yes, my eyebrows crossed when you spoke about them - because it just reminded me that till this point you have been lying and knowing that you feel you cannot be honest with me hurts me. So my eyebrows crossed a little - and I felt it and I saw you react, so I smiled and reminded you that you had recently been invited to a "weekend work BBQ" as you put it, and I asked you when you would be going to that to show that I don't mind what you do - I just want you to be honest with it.

But anyway - you told me in perhaps too much detail for it to have been comfortable for you all of the people that you work with and where they sit, and what they do and what they say and what they look like. Then again, maybe you were testing me - but it was nice to hear you talking without edits in your conversation and it felt very refreshing to hear you speak without the intermittent pausing that you do when you lie. And it was nice the way that you said things that agreed with each other and not things that disagreed with each other the way that you normally do. And you looked at me as you spoke which was nice, because usually you stare at a wall or something.

So then we cooked together, and ate together, and cleaned together and we chatted in the kitchen for the whole hour and a half it too for the chicken to roast and then another half an hour for it to settle and then you put the TV on, and there was nothing on: so we made up the bed in the living room and put Gladiator on.

You fell asleep very quickly, and I fell asleep very quickly.

At some stage you must have turned it off. I woke up this morning to your tight hugs and kisses as you were leaving, I was deep in sleep.

And when I finally awoke, a cup of tea was there waiting for me in the kitchen.